Well here I am at IU Simon Cancer Center receiving my 4th (1/2 way done) chemo treatment. It was a pretty rough treatment last time. I slept Wednesday, Thursday (2 days after chemo) and then was nauseous from Friday-thru the following Thursday having it return on the weekend. That only gave me two/three days that I was feeling ok. It feels like being on a horrible hangover for an extended period of time. Nothing helps, not even sleeping helps. I am on a high dose of anti-depressants which aren't quite doing the job and makes me kind of wired where I can't fall asleep but I really need to. I guess it is like a double edged sword.

My hemoglobin, iron, white blood cells. My potassium and magnesium were low for some reason. I need to drink more water and take in more calories...I lost a little too much weight (believe me I'm not upset about that). Nothing at all sounds good to eat and my mom is going to prove to the doctors that I will not lose any more weight and won't get dehydrated.

Once again, the depression is horrible. Add the terrible Indiana winter weather, it is really extreme. Tomorrow, Rick and I return here to see the psychiatrist. I might be put on a psychotic drug to help with the nausea...only if it doesn't effect or disagree with the anti-depressants I already am on. Rick says I sleep a lot, he should really be enjoying it. When I get done with my chemo, watch out. I can not wait to feel great again. And Dr. Helft said I will get back to normal. He also reminded me of how much pain I was in after surgery...I was telling him chemo was worse than the surgery...he thinks I'm crazy, hence the psychotic meds (PS. I introduced him to my beaver coat last time). Only you that know me really well understand that comment.

I am not going back to teaching until after spring break, the last week of March. March 16 is my last scheduled chemo treatment...and I will need at least 10-14 days to recuperate. The side effects from the oxallypratin will get worse and will be prolonged the longer I get treatment. Numbness in my extemities, irritation to cold, hard to swallow cold food/beverages, and tingling in legs, toes, and fingers. Yippy!!

All said and done...I have no choice but to take the chemo and suck it up (as long as Mom and Rick leave me alone and let me sleep and not force me to eat or drink). After today, nothing will sound good to eat or drink until a few days before my next treatment.

So, keep me in your prayers, if not only to be more chipper. Four more sessions, 8 more crappy weeks. Come on Spring!!!