Hi all,
Sorry this is later than my last blog. Last Tuesday I had my last chemo. It went pretty well. My doctor's appt went well also. It was the last time I would need to have my port activated. I wore the chemo bag for the 2 days following my doctor's visit. That is the last time I will ever wear a black fanny pouch ever again...I hope.
At my doctor's appt the last thing Dr. Helft asked me was when I wanted to get my port removed...I would have done it then and there, but I had to wear it for those 2 days. So today I went to IU Med Center and had it removed. It was a pretty easy procedure for me...they put me out. I was actually sedated enough not to feel it, but I could feel the tugging and pushing on my chest. I want to get rid of as many signs of the cancer treatment as possible. It didn't hurt but now it does. This means that from now on they will have to stick me with a needle in a vein to draw blood. That's perfectly OK with me. I guess I'll use some pain medicine tonight.
I had an appt with my psychiatrist last Wednesday. His advice was for me to stay on my anti-depressants through June. That will be after I have my doctors appt with the Dr. Robb, my surgeon in May, a colonoscopy on June 7, and a CT scan and doctors appt with Dr. Helft with all of the results from the tests. I might be a little nervous and anxious waiting for the results. I hope I will be distracted by Jordan's wedding...or stressed out with last minute details.
I start back to school on Monday, March 29. I am so excited to get back to work and see the students and my friends. It will be nice to be distracted by my normal (as normal as it was before cancer which is very questionable) routine. I will probably wish I took the whole year a couple of weeks in (not really). I can't wait to be busy. You can only watch so many TV programs and cleaning is way over rated. I'm sick of being home all day long.
I am recuperating daily. I still have some healing from surgery, nausea, but it is getting better each day. My side effects from the chemo will diminish as time passes. Hopefully, I will feel better and better week by week. My doctor said each week I will gain back more energy, I thought I had plateaued on the energy scale. But that sounds great to me. My plans are to be updating probably after my appt with my surgeon. I think the appt is May 15ish...and then I will definitely blog after my colonoscopy (June 7) and then after my CT scan (June 15) and then every 3 months when I meet with my oncologist, Dr. Helft.
Again, you can not understand how grateful I am for my family and friends and people I barely or have never known for all of the prayers, cards, food, donations, keep sakes, uplifting phone calls, house cleaning, pool preparation, school issues (Frontier and Delphi), my benefit where the money was used for gas, transportation, meals, hotel lodging and medicine), drivers that volunteered to drive me back and forth to my doctors appointments, manicures, vet calls, haircuts, lawn mowing, grocery shopping, all of the motivational messages and love that have kept me going for the last 10 1/2 months. I can't even believe it has been that long. I didn't think this day would come.
Ultimately, I pray that I am cancer free, a cancer survivor living a new type of life, but LIFE. Thanks to all of my doctors: Dr. Cardenes, Dr. Robb, and Dr. Helft and all of the nurses, surgeons, medical students, technicians, trainees, assistants, receptionists and every body at IU Med Center and Simon Cancer Center. They were and are wonderful and treated me as an individual knowing the urgency of my treatment.
Thank goodness they were aggressive in my treatment with a compassionate hand in my recovery. They promised to cure me, not just fix me. I thank God for looking over me and all involved in my emotional, physical, and mental well being. I pray that I can give help and hope to anyone dealing with life's bumps as I was helped with mine. My words will never be enough to explain my gratitude. I love you all for being there for me through it all.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Hi All,
Well on Friday, Feb 19 I met with my surgeon for a check up. He said everything was healing well and he would see me in 3 months. It was nice to hear. I asked him about the pathology report after surgery and he said it looks clear of cancer and that I shouldn't worry. So I am not going to dwell on that. I will have a CAT and PET scan in late August or early September.
Yesterday I had my 7th chemo treatment. All of my blood work came back good. My body has held up through the process. I asked my doctor about some natural treatments and he responded that they wouldn't hurt, but hadn't heard of major advances going on.
My chemo session went well, my friend Kim was with me. It was so nice visiting with her as it is with all of the friends and family that join me for my chemo. I was in another survey while getting my treatment. It was about "Hope during the fight against cancer." It was very interesting. They have info on the physical aspects but wanted to know what the mental side was like. Hope is necessary to have at times like this. It gives me strength but most of all my family and friends' support, those who have sent cards and keep me their prayer is what has helped the most...maybe because they have given me hope and kept my spirits up. My hope is not only to be free of cancer for the rest of my life, but so that I can be there for those who have given their time and love.
As far as the chemo, the sensitivity to cold is worse than before. I have some mouth sores which is caused by the 5FU. Hopefully it will get better soon. I was extremely tired afterwards. Hopefully the nausea will be manageable again with the meds that they have prescribed. Only 4 weeks of bad stuff.
As of today, Friday, I am a little nausea but better than in the past.
To all, thanks for all of your support. Until next chemo, so long.
Well on Friday, Feb 19 I met with my surgeon for a check up. He said everything was healing well and he would see me in 3 months. It was nice to hear. I asked him about the pathology report after surgery and he said it looks clear of cancer and that I shouldn't worry. So I am not going to dwell on that. I will have a CAT and PET scan in late August or early September.
Yesterday I had my 7th chemo treatment. All of my blood work came back good. My body has held up through the process. I asked my doctor about some natural treatments and he responded that they wouldn't hurt, but hadn't heard of major advances going on.
My chemo session went well, my friend Kim was with me. It was so nice visiting with her as it is with all of the friends and family that join me for my chemo. I was in another survey while getting my treatment. It was about "Hope during the fight against cancer." It was very interesting. They have info on the physical aspects but wanted to know what the mental side was like. Hope is necessary to have at times like this. It gives me strength but most of all my family and friends' support, those who have sent cards and keep me their prayer is what has helped the most...maybe because they have given me hope and kept my spirits up. My hope is not only to be free of cancer for the rest of my life, but so that I can be there for those who have given their time and love.
As far as the chemo, the sensitivity to cold is worse than before. I have some mouth sores which is caused by the 5FU. Hopefully it will get better soon. I was extremely tired afterwards. Hopefully the nausea will be manageable again with the meds that they have prescribed. Only 4 weeks of bad stuff.
As of today, Friday, I am a little nausea but better than in the past.
To all, thanks for all of your support. Until next chemo, so long.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Hello all,
I'm here at IU med center getting my 6th chemo infusion. Two left and I'm not going to miss either of them. Last treatment was much easier on me. The medicine seemed to do the job controlling the nausea. I have gained all of my weight back plus a couple of pounds. The people here think that is great but it is pissing me off...you would think they wouldn't mind a few pounds lighter. Any way, things are going well. I had a great week last week. On Thursday-Sunday I actually felt like my old self, before surgery that is. I even had a case of road rage which verified that my temper was returning to normal.
As I talked to my oncologist, he said that I would have another CT scan PET scan a year from my surgery. So around Aug-September I will have that. I will also see him every 3 months for the first 3 years and every 6 months for the next 2. After that, I'm not sure. He told me that with all of the procedures: Radiation/chemo, surgery, chemo, I will have a 1 and 3 chance of the cancer to reacure. After 10 years that there would only be a 10% chance.
Ok, Beth was with me and she didn't know she was supposed to pick up all of this info from the doctor. On Friday I will meet with my surgeon, Dr. Robb. I'll be anxious to know how my insides have healed. They say it takes a long time for the vaginal area to heal. Not only is there the incision, but scar tissue creates some issues also. Not a big deal...at least not right now.
Again, thank you for all of your prayers and help. I so appreciate it all and so does my family.
I will let you all know how things go with Dr. Robb. So until later. Judi
I'm here at IU med center getting my 6th chemo infusion. Two left and I'm not going to miss either of them. Last treatment was much easier on me. The medicine seemed to do the job controlling the nausea. I have gained all of my weight back plus a couple of pounds. The people here think that is great but it is pissing me off...you would think they wouldn't mind a few pounds lighter. Any way, things are going well. I had a great week last week. On Thursday-Sunday I actually felt like my old self, before surgery that is. I even had a case of road rage which verified that my temper was returning to normal.
As I talked to my oncologist, he said that I would have another CT scan PET scan a year from my surgery. So around Aug-September I will have that. I will also see him every 3 months for the first 3 years and every 6 months for the next 2. After that, I'm not sure. He told me that with all of the procedures: Radiation/chemo, surgery, chemo, I will have a 1 and 3 chance of the cancer to reacure. After 10 years that there would only be a 10% chance.
Ok, Beth was with me and she didn't know she was supposed to pick up all of this info from the doctor. On Friday I will meet with my surgeon, Dr. Robb. I'll be anxious to know how my insides have healed. They say it takes a long time for the vaginal area to heal. Not only is there the incision, but scar tissue creates some issues also. Not a big deal...at least not right now.
Again, thank you for all of your prayers and help. I so appreciate it all and so does my family.
I will let you all know how things go with Dr. Robb. So until later. Judi
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Hi all,
Chemo was on Tuesday and I didn't have time to get on. I talked extensively with my oncologist about the side effects of the chemo and the medicine that has been prescibed. The anti-psychotic medicine-zyprexa is not only used for schizophrenics, but it is also used for people are bolimic and anarexic It helped so much with my nausea, but it made eat like a barbarian. There was no satisfying my hunger. One night I was up 3 times after being bed...I first craved the melon that was cut up in the frig. I ate it standing up right out of the bowl. I went back to bed and started thinking about something else...it was the cream horns on the counter. Well, it didn't take me long to get out of bed (like 10 minutes) and woofed down 2 with a big glass of milk which I had to swish around in my mouth to get it to room temperature so it won't irratate my throat (A side effect from the oxaliplatin chemo). Needless to say, I earned all the weight back that I had with the previous treatments. I can actually say that last Friday was the first time since my surgery, Sept. 1, that I have felt like my old self.
Along with the hunger issues, I am having a hard time sleeping. I haven't been taking any day naps, but I haven't had a good nights sleep for a long time. Again it is probably from the nausea medicing and also the anti-depression medicines (which is going much better). So to sleep, I am using a prescribed sleeping pill and last night I slept like a brick...it was great. Unfortunately, I need a nap this morning after I accidentally pulled the huber needle out of my port which is how the chemo goes in the two days after chemo. Well, I wasn't worried when it came out, but Rick was on the phone to the home health care nurses to alert them of what I had done and they were out here in less than and hour. They had to insert the needle in twice, they missed the port opening the first time...shit. So the second one was successful. The most important thing about getting the needles was so that my port could be flushed so that it didn't clog with liquid from this session and obstruct the line for the next ones. I can tell you that I don't want any other proceedures to recover from. So the nurse returned 4 hours later to take the pack and needle out. Excitement here at my house.
Rick and Jake think I was most like myself in a long time just from the zyprexa. So now, I am starting it on Thursday after chemo and taking it through the weekend, Sunday night whick helps me through the next couple of days before it gets out of my system. Even though it helps with the nausea, it is not a good feeling. The hunger is just at an unsatisfying urge. I guess that is why it is good for people with eating disorders.
I have now completed 5 chemo sessions with 3 remaining. I can see the end...all of my appointments are scheduled and come or hell or high water, I will not miss any of the dates. This will finish me up on March 16 (10 months exactly from when I found out I had cancer). Can you believe it...it has been a long road and I am so ready to get back to a routine at work and start working out to get back the muscle tone I have lost from being so sedimentary. Besides, I have to be looking hot for Jordan's wedding (haha). Really I just want to have the energy to enjoy all of festivities.
Dr. Helft said it would be a year before I get back to my physical condition before cancer. Wow, that is a long time. He said it would be 3-6 months after my last chemo before I would have all of the chemo out of my system...so I could have lingering side effects that long. I will have a PET and CAT scan to see if they see any hot spots of cancer a year after surgery so that would be around Sept. 2010. I am still healing inside and out from surgery but no longer taking pain medicine.
All of the changes I have gone through have altered how I do a lot of things. I am dealing with them and have occasional breakdowns, but the are getting less. There are many others in much more serious conditions. I am here and I plan on being here for a long time...lucky for my family and friends. So anyway, again I want to thank all of you who continue to pray for me, and the kind words from cards, notes, phone calls and of course, food brought out. Rick and Jake are extremely thankful. I am not sure when I have to stop playing the cancer card. I think my family is expecting me to return to cooking after all of this. Isn't 30 years of cooking long enough (haha).
So I will blog again after the next session...thanks. Judi
Chemo was on Tuesday and I didn't have time to get on. I talked extensively with my oncologist about the side effects of the chemo and the medicine that has been prescibed. The anti-psychotic medicine-zyprexa is not only used for schizophrenics, but it is also used for people are bolimic and anarexic It helped so much with my nausea, but it made eat like a barbarian. There was no satisfying my hunger. One night I was up 3 times after being bed...I first craved the melon that was cut up in the frig. I ate it standing up right out of the bowl. I went back to bed and started thinking about something else...it was the cream horns on the counter. Well, it didn't take me long to get out of bed (like 10 minutes) and woofed down 2 with a big glass of milk which I had to swish around in my mouth to get it to room temperature so it won't irratate my throat (A side effect from the oxaliplatin chemo). Needless to say, I earned all the weight back that I had with the previous treatments. I can actually say that last Friday was the first time since my surgery, Sept. 1, that I have felt like my old self.
Along with the hunger issues, I am having a hard time sleeping. I haven't been taking any day naps, but I haven't had a good nights sleep for a long time. Again it is probably from the nausea medicing and also the anti-depression medicines (which is going much better). So to sleep, I am using a prescribed sleeping pill and last night I slept like a brick...it was great. Unfortunately, I need a nap this morning after I accidentally pulled the huber needle out of my port which is how the chemo goes in the two days after chemo. Well, I wasn't worried when it came out, but Rick was on the phone to the home health care nurses to alert them of what I had done and they were out here in less than and hour. They had to insert the needle in twice, they missed the port opening the first time...shit. So the second one was successful. The most important thing about getting the needles was so that my port could be flushed so that it didn't clog with liquid from this session and obstruct the line for the next ones. I can tell you that I don't want any other proceedures to recover from. So the nurse returned 4 hours later to take the pack and needle out. Excitement here at my house.
Rick and Jake think I was most like myself in a long time just from the zyprexa. So now, I am starting it on Thursday after chemo and taking it through the weekend, Sunday night whick helps me through the next couple of days before it gets out of my system. Even though it helps with the nausea, it is not a good feeling. The hunger is just at an unsatisfying urge. I guess that is why it is good for people with eating disorders.
I have now completed 5 chemo sessions with 3 remaining. I can see the end...all of my appointments are scheduled and come or hell or high water, I will not miss any of the dates. This will finish me up on March 16 (10 months exactly from when I found out I had cancer). Can you believe it...it has been a long road and I am so ready to get back to a routine at work and start working out to get back the muscle tone I have lost from being so sedimentary. Besides, I have to be looking hot for Jordan's wedding (haha). Really I just want to have the energy to enjoy all of festivities.
Dr. Helft said it would be a year before I get back to my physical condition before cancer. Wow, that is a long time. He said it would be 3-6 months after my last chemo before I would have all of the chemo out of my system...so I could have lingering side effects that long. I will have a PET and CAT scan to see if they see any hot spots of cancer a year after surgery so that would be around Sept. 2010. I am still healing inside and out from surgery but no longer taking pain medicine.
All of the changes I have gone through have altered how I do a lot of things. I am dealing with them and have occasional breakdowns, but the are getting less. There are many others in much more serious conditions. I am here and I plan on being here for a long time...lucky for my family and friends. So anyway, again I want to thank all of you who continue to pray for me, and the kind words from cards, notes, phone calls and of course, food brought out. Rick and Jake are extremely thankful. I am not sure when I have to stop playing the cancer card. I think my family is expecting me to return to cooking after all of this. Isn't 30 years of cooking long enough (haha).
So I will blog again after the next session...thanks. Judi
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Well here I am at IU Simon Cancer Center receiving my 4th (1/2 way done) chemo treatment. It was a pretty rough treatment last time. I slept Wednesday, Thursday (2 days after chemo) and then was nauseous from Friday-thru the following Thursday having it return on the weekend. That only gave me two/three days that I was feeling ok. It feels like being on a horrible hangover for an extended period of time. Nothing helps, not even sleeping helps. I am on a high dose of anti-depressants which aren't quite doing the job and makes me kind of wired where I can't fall asleep but I really need to. I guess it is like a double edged sword.
My hemoglobin, iron, white blood cells. My potassium and magnesium were low for some reason. I need to drink more water and take in more calories...I lost a little too much weight (believe me I'm not upset about that). Nothing at all sounds good to eat and my mom is going to prove to the doctors that I will not lose any more weight and won't get dehydrated.
Once again, the depression is horrible. Add the terrible Indiana winter weather, it is really extreme. Tomorrow, Rick and I return here to see the psychiatrist. I might be put on a psychotic drug to help with the nausea...only if it doesn't effect or disagree with the anti-depressants I already am on. Rick says I sleep a lot, he should really be enjoying it. When I get done with my chemo, watch out. I can not wait to feel great again. And Dr. Helft said I will get back to normal. He also reminded me of how much pain I was in after surgery...I was telling him chemo was worse than the surgery...he thinks I'm crazy, hence the psychotic meds (PS. I introduced him to my beaver coat last time). Only you that know me really well understand that comment.
I am not going back to teaching until after spring break, the last week of March. March 16 is my last scheduled chemo treatment...and I will need at least 10-14 days to recuperate. The side effects from the oxallypratin will get worse and will be prolonged the longer I get treatment. Numbness in my extemities, irritation to cold, hard to swallow cold food/beverages, and tingling in legs, toes, and fingers. Yippy!!
All said and done...I have no choice but to take the chemo and suck it up (as long as Mom and Rick leave me alone and let me sleep and not force me to eat or drink). After today, nothing will sound good to eat or drink until a few days before my next treatment.
So, keep me in your prayers, if not only to be more chipper. Four more sessions, 8 more crappy weeks. Come on Spring!!!
My hemoglobin, iron, white blood cells. My potassium and magnesium were low for some reason. I need to drink more water and take in more calories...I lost a little too much weight (believe me I'm not upset about that). Nothing at all sounds good to eat and my mom is going to prove to the doctors that I will not lose any more weight and won't get dehydrated.
Once again, the depression is horrible. Add the terrible Indiana winter weather, it is really extreme. Tomorrow, Rick and I return here to see the psychiatrist. I might be put on a psychotic drug to help with the nausea...only if it doesn't effect or disagree with the anti-depressants I already am on. Rick says I sleep a lot, he should really be enjoying it. When I get done with my chemo, watch out. I can not wait to feel great again. And Dr. Helft said I will get back to normal. He also reminded me of how much pain I was in after surgery...I was telling him chemo was worse than the surgery...he thinks I'm crazy, hence the psychotic meds (PS. I introduced him to my beaver coat last time). Only you that know me really well understand that comment.
I am not going back to teaching until after spring break, the last week of March. March 16 is my last scheduled chemo treatment...and I will need at least 10-14 days to recuperate. The side effects from the oxallypratin will get worse and will be prolonged the longer I get treatment. Numbness in my extemities, irritation to cold, hard to swallow cold food/beverages, and tingling in legs, toes, and fingers. Yippy!!
All said and done...I have no choice but to take the chemo and suck it up (as long as Mom and Rick leave me alone and let me sleep and not force me to eat or drink). After today, nothing will sound good to eat or drink until a few days before my next treatment.
So, keep me in your prayers, if not only to be more chipper. Four more sessions, 8 more crappy weeks. Come on Spring!!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Hello,
I am sorry for the long delay on my condition. I'll try to get through the last 3 months in a timely fashion. Sept. 1 was my surgery. It was very extensive. I was only in the hospital for 4 days as they sent me home on Saturday...I opposed, but what did I know. They removed the drain tubes on that morning before I left.
I went home with a lot of medicine and pain. I had home health care nurses come to the house to check my bottom, stoma, and drain holes. Everything was doing well, but the nurse was worried mostly about the drain hole getting infected. After 3 weeks home, I came down with a fever and had to return to the hospital on a Sunday evening. I had an infection where the vaginal wall was removed. It was not healed shut and there was drainage from the outside. I was put on 10 days of antibiotics. It still didn't get rid of the drainage, so they got me started on another dosage of antibiotics. About 1 month after surgery, I went into the surgeon's office for a check up and I was very anemic and was readmitted for the second time. I was so upset. I wasn't expecting that at all. Pain medicine was adjusted at that time, they were trying to control the pain and it was trying for the doctors and myself. After a couple of days, I returned home and began feeling better. At the 2 month mark, I was still not back to normal...what ever that is. As I got closer to 3 months after surgery, I decided that I wasn't having any pain in my bottom so I decided to stop taking the pain medicine prescribed and within 3 days I was having full blown withdrawal symptoms. Needless to say, Rick had to take me back to the hospital emergency room. I guess this is typical for patients that are on pain medicine for a long time. One of my nurses told me that I wasn't having pain because the pain medicine was doing its job. That was a stupid move on my part.
I can't even describe the pain that went along with this surgery. I understand why the doctors never told me, otherwise I would have probably been freaking out. It was worse than I could have imagined, but each day I would feel better than the one before. That was what kept me going. Chemo was looking better all the time.
On December 1, I started my 1st dose of chemo...it is 5FU (I was on it while doing radiation) and a new drug oxsallypratin (I am spelling this as it is pronounced, the spelling is way wrong) along with anti-nausea medicine and a vitamin that helps the 5FU work better. My chemo is always on a Tuesday. I am in the infusion room for about 5 hours total just sitting there. It is not painful at all. Then on Wednesday and Thursday I am extremely tired and then the fun starts. On Friday through Tuesday or Wednesday I am so nauseated I can't stand it. It is like being on a alcohol drunk for 5 days with no relief. At least with the flu or a hang over you can at least sleep, this is not like it at all.
My 2nd chemo was 2 weeks later, December 15. I had only been feeling good for about 5 days and started it all over again. Thankfully, I got an extra week without chemo on December 29 because my oncologist was out of the office. PS. The depression has been horrible. I am seeing a psycologist. He has prescribed a stong amount of depression medicine and it is now kicking in. Along with Indiana weather and being at home alone most of the time and feeling like crap, it all seems to look very gloomy. They say all of this is very normal. It has felt like my world was crashing in on me. Bad dreams, bad thoughts, bad bad bad, all of it. So I am thankful that I have that resolved. Keep in mind that the medicines don't start working immediately. It usually takes 3-7 days for it to start working so nothing is immediate. That is tough to wait it our when you are feeling so down in the dumps. With all this that I have been dealing with it makes surgery recovery seem easier. It is one thing when your body isn't feeling good or normal, but when it is your head, it is really bad. Again, I have great doctors that are keeping up with my symptoms and concerned that I am doing well. They are wonderful! I'm glad we chose IU Med Center.
Here I am, January 5, sitting in the infusion room at IU Med Center getting my 3rd dose of chemo. I truly dreaded coming today. Not because of the infusion time, because of the next 7 days. I hope that it won't be as bad. My doctor has given me some other anti-nausea medicine to help out. I pray it does.
The oxsallypratin causes delayed nausea (that is why it starts on Friday). The also give me that anti-nausea medicine with the chemo and it lasts about 3 days. The 5FU causes diarrhea. It is a dreadful week+.
After taking the first 2 doses of chemo, I decided not to return to school until my chemo is done which will be March 16th. I will hopefully return after spring break.
Everyone has been so supportive. I need all your prayers to get me through the chemo. I have 5 more chemo sessions and dread each one. 12 weeks of this routine and then I am done. I am praying that 2010 is a great year, I am sure it won't be like last year. When I finally finish with chemo, I will have been involved in beating cancer for 10 months to the day. Wow. Almost done. I didn't think chemo was going to be this hard, everyone says that is so much better than it used to be. I can't imagine how bad it really could have been...I may be a wimp, but it sucks.
There have been a lot of tears. Tears of pain, frustration, depression, change, and fear. I hate what has happened to me, I have a lot to reconcile with as my body has changed drastically. Things will never be normal again, but I am anxious to create my new normal, if that is possible.
Again, I am sorry it has taken so long for me to blog. It has been hard for me to focus or stay on task. And I didn't feel good for such a long time after surgery. Thanks for everything.
Judi
I am sorry for the long delay on my condition. I'll try to get through the last 3 months in a timely fashion. Sept. 1 was my surgery. It was very extensive. I was only in the hospital for 4 days as they sent me home on Saturday...I opposed, but what did I know. They removed the drain tubes on that morning before I left.
I went home with a lot of medicine and pain. I had home health care nurses come to the house to check my bottom, stoma, and drain holes. Everything was doing well, but the nurse was worried mostly about the drain hole getting infected. After 3 weeks home, I came down with a fever and had to return to the hospital on a Sunday evening. I had an infection where the vaginal wall was removed. It was not healed shut and there was drainage from the outside. I was put on 10 days of antibiotics. It still didn't get rid of the drainage, so they got me started on another dosage of antibiotics. About 1 month after surgery, I went into the surgeon's office for a check up and I was very anemic and was readmitted for the second time. I was so upset. I wasn't expecting that at all. Pain medicine was adjusted at that time, they were trying to control the pain and it was trying for the doctors and myself. After a couple of days, I returned home and began feeling better. At the 2 month mark, I was still not back to normal...what ever that is. As I got closer to 3 months after surgery, I decided that I wasn't having any pain in my bottom so I decided to stop taking the pain medicine prescribed and within 3 days I was having full blown withdrawal symptoms. Needless to say, Rick had to take me back to the hospital emergency room. I guess this is typical for patients that are on pain medicine for a long time. One of my nurses told me that I wasn't having pain because the pain medicine was doing its job. That was a stupid move on my part.
I can't even describe the pain that went along with this surgery. I understand why the doctors never told me, otherwise I would have probably been freaking out. It was worse than I could have imagined, but each day I would feel better than the one before. That was what kept me going. Chemo was looking better all the time.
On December 1, I started my 1st dose of chemo...it is 5FU (I was on it while doing radiation) and a new drug oxsallypratin (I am spelling this as it is pronounced, the spelling is way wrong) along with anti-nausea medicine and a vitamin that helps the 5FU work better. My chemo is always on a Tuesday. I am in the infusion room for about 5 hours total just sitting there. It is not painful at all. Then on Wednesday and Thursday I am extremely tired and then the fun starts. On Friday through Tuesday or Wednesday I am so nauseated I can't stand it. It is like being on a alcohol drunk for 5 days with no relief. At least with the flu or a hang over you can at least sleep, this is not like it at all.
My 2nd chemo was 2 weeks later, December 15. I had only been feeling good for about 5 days and started it all over again. Thankfully, I got an extra week without chemo on December 29 because my oncologist was out of the office. PS. The depression has been horrible. I am seeing a psycologist. He has prescribed a stong amount of depression medicine and it is now kicking in. Along with Indiana weather and being at home alone most of the time and feeling like crap, it all seems to look very gloomy. They say all of this is very normal. It has felt like my world was crashing in on me. Bad dreams, bad thoughts, bad bad bad, all of it. So I am thankful that I have that resolved. Keep in mind that the medicines don't start working immediately. It usually takes 3-7 days for it to start working so nothing is immediate. That is tough to wait it our when you are feeling so down in the dumps. With all this that I have been dealing with it makes surgery recovery seem easier. It is one thing when your body isn't feeling good or normal, but when it is your head, it is really bad. Again, I have great doctors that are keeping up with my symptoms and concerned that I am doing well. They are wonderful! I'm glad we chose IU Med Center.
Here I am, January 5, sitting in the infusion room at IU Med Center getting my 3rd dose of chemo. I truly dreaded coming today. Not because of the infusion time, because of the next 7 days. I hope that it won't be as bad. My doctor has given me some other anti-nausea medicine to help out. I pray it does.
The oxsallypratin causes delayed nausea (that is why it starts on Friday). The also give me that anti-nausea medicine with the chemo and it lasts about 3 days. The 5FU causes diarrhea. It is a dreadful week+.
After taking the first 2 doses of chemo, I decided not to return to school until my chemo is done which will be March 16th. I will hopefully return after spring break.
Everyone has been so supportive. I need all your prayers to get me through the chemo. I have 5 more chemo sessions and dread each one. 12 weeks of this routine and then I am done. I am praying that 2010 is a great year, I am sure it won't be like last year. When I finally finish with chemo, I will have been involved in beating cancer for 10 months to the day. Wow. Almost done. I didn't think chemo was going to be this hard, everyone says that is so much better than it used to be. I can't imagine how bad it really could have been...I may be a wimp, but it sucks.
There have been a lot of tears. Tears of pain, frustration, depression, change, and fear. I hate what has happened to me, I have a lot to reconcile with as my body has changed drastically. Things will never be normal again, but I am anxious to create my new normal, if that is possible.
Again, I am sorry it has taken so long for me to blog. It has been hard for me to focus or stay on task. And I didn't feel good for such a long time after surgery. Thanks for everything.
Judi
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