Long awaited update about upcoming surgery

Hello everyone...
So sorry it has been so long since I have visited my blog. I will recap what has happened since late July.

On July 24, I met with my surgeon Dr. Robb. He did an exam and came up with the same conclusion as earlier...remove all function and give me a permanent colostomy bag. Again hearing that was devastating. He was 99.9% sure that there was no chance for avoiding the worst. He was very supportive in my chances that he could get all of the cancer through surgery and I was in agreement that it is cure that I want.

The following day my family, my sisters and brother, wives, husbands, kids, mom and step dad left on vacation to Norris Lake, Tn where we stayed in a huge house for the week and enjoyed the weather, water sports and time together. Needless to say, I was not my perky self...I did a lot of resting, no water sports for me and I only got wet 3 times. By the end of the week, I was carrying a fever and felt like crap. We all came home on Saturday, Aug 1, unpacked and began recooperating. On Monday, still feeling terrible and running a fever, Dr. Cardenes' office had me go to Urgent Care to get a urine test...sure enough, I had a urine infection and started medicine immediately.

On Sunday, August 2, my family and friends, teachers, administration, community members, and business affiliates had a wonderful fundraiser for me at my school, Delphi Community High School, in the front parking lot. It was amazing. It was labeled as Judi's Kick Butt Colon Cancer Fun Day...There was a dunk tank, cake walk, bake sale, basketball shooting, bouncing castle,car wash, nail painting, hair cutting, silent auction, auction, hula hoop contest, pizza eating contest, pork burger and food, and garage sale. There are probably more things that I missed, but it was awesome. I was so humbled by all of my friends, students, family, DCSC staff and administration and students, parents that came to support me and my success in fighting my cancer. I was really worried and nervous about the event, but after arriving, it was so great. I talked to a lot of people that I hadn't seen in a long time, some new people, but most everyone I knew.

It is times like this that makes you so proud to be associated with so many kind and compassionate people. I can't even begin to thank everyone that organized, helped, spent their summer days and evenings cleaning out closets, and donated things to make my benefit successful. I can't tell you how wonderful that was. I guess you never quite know how you are received by your peers, employers and the community you work in, but that day made it so clear to me. There are prayers out there for me from people all over, and I am so appreciative.

I am so proud to be from my small rural town of Brookston and so proud to be a member of such a great school corporation and supportive community of Delphi. There were donations made by companies and friends that know us through the farm, cattle, Purdue and all over. It was so so great. So any way, thanks so much to all who were involved. I can't say enough.

As for the surgery, Dr. Robb gave me a website to investigate colostomy bags and accessories...sounds so nice doesn't it. If you are interested, http://www.hollister.com/, and no it has nothing to do with the cute little clothes you can buy at the mall.

A day after the benefit I decided to go to this website and check it out. It was late at night and I only made it through about 8 of the little info videos and broke down...it was ugly, from the stoma to the bags to the information they were discussing. It was really sobering. I cried for days after and still find myself tearing up knowing what lies in my future on a daily basis. My fears were put right out there for me to be slapped in the face. So, if I can help any one get over the uncomfortable thought of getting a colonoscopy, go to this website...if you don't think it is an important procedure, this will change your mind.

My surgery is set for Tuesday, September 1. I am scared to death. Not so much for the surgery, but that I will be different physically afterwards and I am scared to look at what they have done. Everyone says that it won't matter to them that I have a colostomy and now function. Right now, I know it won't matter to them, but it matters to me. I keep thinking that for all of these years, I have tried to take care of my appearance, watch my weight, keep fit, eat right, and for all of that work and effort, this is happening. Cancer has no boundries. It attacks people who seemingly have taken care of themselves.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching trying to cope with my emotions about this physical change that awaits me. I don't know if it is helping. I am now joking a little about it...like in 1 week I am going on vacation and after Sept. 1, no one will be able to call me "Ass Hole." I am sure that will be easily change to other choice phrases.

I am having trouble sleeping due to all of the things that are running through my mind day and night. Dr. Cardenes said that she would be there for my surgery along with Dr. George who is Dr. Robb's partner. He specializes in laproscopic assisted colorectal surgery where Dr. Robb specializes in open colorectal surgery.

Next Monday, Rick and all of the kids and I will be staying at the IU Med Center Hotel. I am to register on Tuesday by 5:30 am and go into surgery at 7:30 am. I was originally told the surgery would be up to 8 hours long and I will be spending any where from 4-10 days...I have been told several different things. I am sure it will depend on my recovery and adaptability to the colostomy training.

The day after the surgery, I will rest, then the following day the ostomy team, those who train the patient on how to maintain their stoma and bag apperatus, and cleaning issues, will work with me and get me familiar with that. Hurray. The following day, they will have Rick and I doing so that we will be able to take care of things when I go home.

I have no idea how/what things to expect after surgery. You probably can use your imagination and be pretty close...drain tubes, cathaters, IVs, and others. I think I will be in intensive care following surgery, but not for sure. I or my family may be doing a blog after surgery so that you all are privy to my outcome. I am anxious for the time where surgery is over, I am at home and feeling like doing something fun...I hope that comes soon. The worst part has definitely been the waiting and the unknown.

I just want everyone to know how greatful I am for all of the prayers for me. For any of you that drove me to radiation, made food, cleaned my house, sent cards and every thing else to make my days easier, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has made staying strong and positive much easier. My life has changed already just by facing medical unknowns and a disease that could take my life. If I can do anything for any one, my phone is always available to give advice, support and understanding. In times like these, you find out who cares and loves you and that things could be worse. I am grateful for everything I have , my husband, children, family and friends. Thank you for being there for me and my family...until after Sept. 1st...Judi